Spring

Caught in what seems to be an endless winter, I am still drawn to Spring Cleaning. Pulling things out of cupboards, rearranging, discarding, scrubbing, I bring in the ladder to reach the spots that no one can see, yet I feel such satisfaction as I look at the top of my cabinets and realize the I know they are clean. It is a compulsion to have a neat and tidy house.

I look back on the years of babies in the house and laugh at the unrealistic expectations I had. I would alphabetize their little cardboard books, in hopes that they would put them back as they had found them. Every toy had a place, and the kids were quite well trained in putting things back. I thought I had created perfect children, slightly OCD, yet in a more "normal" view. How could I have been so wrong. Not one of my children has the need to have clean around them.

They are all content with things where they leave them. For years I was frustrated and anguished over the lack of concern for a spotless house from my family. It affected me in ways I hated. I would panic when people would call and say they were dropping by. I would frantically run around the house in a state of panic. "What would they think?" "What would they see." It has been so freeing to be able to relax in my home. I have accepted my family for who they are. I cannot change their personalities. I cannot make them be me. I can nurture who they are, mold them to be the very best they can be and I can pray that God would guide their lives.

And pray they marry neat freaks!