Learning to fly

The joys of mothering teenagers...oh who would have known when they were all cute and cuddly in their little footy pajamas, wrapped up in their blankets, that one day they would have opinions, attitudes and agendas?

Each day is a challenge, yet with every one, I sense the progress of bringing adolescents into the adult world. I'm not sure it will be a quick and easy journey, in fact I am quite positive that it will be a wild, bumpy ride, prayerfully ending in an exchange of authority. I am excited as the the kids gain more and more independence, yet of course I struggle with each step they take away from the protection of home.

I think back on my teenage years, and I can't begin to apologize to the authority figures that I argued with and at times defied. Not only my adoring parents, but teachers, aunts, uncles and friends. I realize now that as I fought against the boundaries that were surrounding me, I was challenged to decide where I would put the limits, once I was on my own.

I pray that as I hover over my children, and as they push and kick for freedom, that they will learn, as did I, that there is safety in boundaries and joy in authority.

Humbled

The trials I have seem so trivial in the grand scheme of life. Humbled by the Holy Spirit, I write this post. Why do I feel the need to be recognized or appreciated for my tiny contributions?

When I get to thinking like this, the most amazing thing happens. I can almost hear the thwack on the back of my head and my body jerks as I am reprimanded by the LORD. "What on earth were you thinking?"

A little girl lies in a bed in a hospital, discovering only days earlier that cancer was her diagnosis. Doctors, who have spent years learning, perfecting and dedicating their lives to helping others, spent hours over her precious body, her life in their hands -a miracle. Tough times ahead are more than possible, they are guaranteed.

Olympic stars grace the television, the newsstand, the internet. They strive for a goal. They work tirelessly towards the chance to represent their country. We watch with enthusiasm as the athletes perform with precision, agility and speed. The medal awarded, the music plays, the crowd roars.

Two stories: Who are the heros?

As I think about my small offerings to this world I am brought to my knees. I realize that each thing I do is but a drop in an endless sea. Who will award the child with a gold medal for her courage, strength and endurance? Or the doctors who sacrifice daily for the health of others, will they stand on a podium as the crowds cheer? Will a song of tribute be played for the parents that devote each moment to the needs of their children? Each a hero, unknown to the world, but not to the Father who created them.

God sees. That's what matters. Please LORD forgive my selfish pride.

Well, it started out good

Sunday was a beautiful non stressful day. Visited Chapel by the Sea again. Enjoyed the service. What I really like best is the fact that both Ron and I were relaxed getting there and leaving. A true blessing.

We had a fun evening with friends, then as they were leaving Shelby decided to try to fly. Well, maybe not exactly, I'm not sure she even knows what happened. But one second she was sitting on the top stair and the next she was laying at the bottom, crying, holding her arm.

It swelled up immediately. BROKEN! Goodness! Iced it, wrapped it, drugged her and sent her to bed. This morning we went and had it X-rayed. Sure enough it was a break, but a minor one. Couldn't cast it yet due to the swelling. The true bummer is, she is currently taking an art class, piano lessons, and playing volleyball. She is quite the trooper. Kept smiling!

But my heart is deeply hurting for friends' loved ones. Stacia, a six year old, has been diagnosed with a tumor the size of a lemon on the back of her brain. The doctors are almost 100 percent sure it is cancer. She will be in surgery tomorrow. God has had His hand in each part of the testing, diagnosing, and planning.

I am holding onto my kids a little tighter, thanking God for the blessings and praying that He gives me strength to face the trials.

Change

Music is such a huge part of my life. I never realized just how important it was to me until that part of my life was greatly changed. Over a year ago I stepped down from the music ministry at Church for reasons that were significant to me. Each week as I sit in church my heart hurts that the beautiful piano sits unused and untouched. A keyboard has taken over. Not that I don't thoroughly love the keyboard, I own one myself, however, it is not the instrument that the piano is.

Somewhere along the line I have become outdated and old fashioned I guess. I visited a church in town this past week that still uses the piano and organ. It was like going back in time. I loved the sermon, the hymns, the harmonies, the choir, the baby in the back that played, the grandpa that turned 90, the relaxed atmosphere where someone could raise their hand and make an announcement.

As I visited the church with my family I wondered what my teenagers would think of the service. Rather certain that they would belittle the, less than trendy music, attire, and facility, but I was thrilled to find out that they liked it. Trevor's response was that it was obvious that the people really cared about each other and the Lord, because it certainly wasn't the music that brought them :)

As my kids get older, my priorities have been arranged and rearranged. Since we live so far from family, it is very important to me that my kids have adults that encourage them and hold them accountable for their growth and maturity. Will there be people who are excited when they graduate, go to college, get engaged, married and become parents?

As for my younger two, they never get the opportunities that the others had. No Christmas programs, no Easter songs. Maybe that shouldn't be so significant, but it is to me. I want my girls to know that even though they are young they are a vital member of the church body. Not a group that is pushed to the side.

Change is hard, it pushes us to dig deep and find out why we do what we do. Who we are, what we believe. I am not sure where God is leading our family, but I am excited to see where he takes us, or leaves us :)

Someday

I will have a life. Right now it is all about the kids. Not that I mind, but it is nice to feel like I have some sort of identity every now and then. At least I have the reputation of being the cool mom. That has it's advantages.

Trevor - Basketball, basketball, and basketball

Lindsay - Babysitting, babysitting and choir

Shelby - Volleyball, art, piano

Jillian - Art and piano

Ron - Work, work and more work

Me - Just trying to keep us on schedule :)