The Sidelines

Recently, a friend mentioned that she hated to feel left out.  This caused me to think about the many times I have felt out of the loop, a bystander, a bench warmer or merely alone.  But before I dare complain about the moments where life has left me less than thrilled with adventure, camaraderie and excitement, let me say, I am complete in living the mundane.  I wash dishes.  I clean clothes.  I scrub floors.  I wax furniture.  I shop for groceries.  I cook food.  I assist with homework.  I dry tears.  I listen.  I smile. I laugh.  I encourage.

The life of a mom is an adventure like none other.  There are no quarterly bonuses.  I have yet to receive an award of accomplishment.  I have never been the guest of honor at a banquet honoring my achievements.  The board of directors doesn't congratulate me on my ability to cut costs.  And my 401K plan has no matching funds, nor am I vested in any such funds.

The job of mom, is hard.  There are times I cheer on my kids to find that it goes unnoticed. The day will come to an end and I get a nod with a "Good night."  I work daily for my kids.  I get up, make lunches, put on the happy face and try with all my might to send them out the door knowing that I love them, that God has a purpose for their lives and that, "This is the day that the Lord has made.  Rejoice.  Be GLAD."  I cannot honestly say that all of those things happen each morning.  Too often I become the irate mom, who is rushing the slow moving teenager, who begrudgingly drags themselves up the stairs, mopes about the lack of Eggo Waffles left in the freezer, frantically blames everyone for their lost homework, and then rushes out the door to drive or walk away in a huff.  But there are those moments, mind you they are quite few, but truly amazing, where each of the four children manage to wake up bright eyed and ready for the day.  Conversations happen over breakfast that make me grin.  Jokes cause giggles and the kids all leave the house with a smile on their face.  Those days I love.

Being a mom is quite like sitting in the stands of a sporting event.  You can cheer and yell.  Jump up and down and hang your head.  But the game is for the players.  They are in the thick of it.  There comes a time, where I am no longer a coach nor a ref or ump.  I am the cheering section.  I still take ownership of each of their ups and downs.  I would love to be in control and make each decision - take the hit, run hard, swing, block, spike..... but I'm not on the court or on the field.  I am the one left out of the game.  I am the cheering section.

There are no certificates that commemorate mom hood.  No achievement plaques, no hoopla, but I will cheer my children on in each venture they face.  I will cry when they struggle.  I will rejoice when they succeed.  I will counsel when they are confused, and I will certainly discipline when it is needed.

I love my role.  But it is truly lonely at times.  Fortunately, I have not sent my kids into the game alone.  God gave me four children for a little while.  It is my job to teach them, instruct them in the way of the Lord, then it is time for me to slowly begin to let go.  They will find their wings.  They will soar like eagles.  I will watch them, and pray with all of my heart that the wisdom they have heard will have penetrated their hearts and that they will succeed.  Earthly success is not my goal, but rather a success that brings about righteousness, holiness, sanctification.  That the Holy Spirit will dwell in their hearts.  That each day draws them closer to their Creator.

So as I sit in my quiet house watching one read ravenously at a book, one pound out some homework, one play a game, while one is off beating up people at football, not a word is being said.  Still there is an air of contentment.  A satisfaction in home.  It is comforting to me to be at home.  I have found my place.  It isn't on the front lines of any big business, nor is it getting attention for any certain skill.  I am a mom.  I sit on the sidelines.  Occasionally I am asked for my help, even my opinion, sometimes I have to rush the field because a situation has arisen that needs immediate attention.  But my days of running the plays and calling all the shots are coming quickly to an end.

Happy am I that I have an amazing team to root for.  Their colors are true blue.  The Captain of our team is the Most High.  And the trophy is unbelievable.