Howegoesit

Drama

2012-01-23T00:17:00.003-09:00

Drama should be reserved for movies.

But I thought you were my friend...

I can't believe you said that...

Did you see what she was wearing...

I think I might cry...

For pity sake, girls...err, and women...have way too much drama. I know, I'm female. I'm sure I have been involved in my share of emotional outbursts, fits of ridiculous rage and of course the eye rolls, hair tosses, and the occasional, "Nothing is wrong, I'm fine." But really, there should be a limit to the madness.

So on that note, I am changing channels. The drama network has been cancelled. It is comedy central now! If women would unite (which we all know will never happen) and agree to disagree without name calling, back stabbing, and wicked gossip, enjoy the differences in personality, find joy in the odd peculiarities that make us unique, and stop trying to make everyone like ourselves-wow, what a happier family, community, and church!

Changing channels and tossing the remote. Click!

The year has flown by

2011-12-20T00:28:00.002-09:00

2011 is coming to an end, and I still have things to do. I would have liked to have lost another 20 pounds...well, not lost, I certainly don't want to find them again. I would have preferred that I had organized my house a little better. I dreamed that my home would have completed windows, insulated garage, and a yard that boasts beautiful craftsmanship.

I realize that all of the things that I have mentioned are of absolutely NO eternal value. I do not believe that God cares what shape my lawn is in, whether or not my windows are complete, and certainly not how organized my desk drawers are. So then what is it that matters? Do I follow Jesus throughout every day? Do I find myself meditating on the Word daily? Do I pray without ceasing? Are my children being taught the way of the LORD? Does my husband receive the honor he deserves? Am I charitable, hospitable, kind, and generous? Do I look towards the needs of others rather than to the needs of myself?

Wow, I guess that I have many more areas to grow in the upcoming year.

This year has been one of many ups and downs. My health was compromised, but I rallied and am quite healthy. Friendships have been torn and mended. My marriage has seen good times and bad. My children have loved me and hated me. But here I am at the end of the year, and I honestly can say, I loved 2011. It wasn't perfect, but it was what God intended.

As I look forward to 2012, I realize that there will be many more challenges and hurts that I will go through. There will be days that I will wish I could undo. But with each of those hard days, God is gracious and will grant me peace for the moment and a joy to face the next step in a line of many steps towards the goal. Holiness. To be more and more like Christ.

Dear LORD, as I face the end of one year and march towards the next, I realize that a day is nothing to you. A lifetime is but a vapor. So rather than focus on the timeframes that man so desperately clings to, let me focus on Jesus Christ. Let me learn of His ways. Grow in His Word. May each moment be saturated with Jesus, so that in the moment when I face God Almighty, I might hear, "Well done!"

Food Obsession

2011-02-02T11:29:00.002-09:00

We have become a people obsessed with food. There is the Food Network, cooking magazines, cookbooks, food blogs, and restaurants galore. Not only is taste a consideration, but presentation and aroma. Cupcakes have become an unnatural phenomenon. Cakes are looking like buildings, people, and animals. Burgers have become gourmet.

I don't like to cook. In fact, I find it nothing more than a monotonous chore. What to cook? That is a question that haunts me daily. On very rare occasions, I get slightly enthusiastic about a meal. Usually, I'm not the one cooking it.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if we took all the energy obsessing about food, and placed that passion towards something of true value, such as our walk with the Lord?

Teens

2011-02-01T14:43:00.004-09:00

The teen years have got to be some of the toughest years of life. Not a kid. Not an adult. Stuck in limbo. People telling you what to do, and at the same time expecting you to mature and make your own choices.

I don't miss those years in the slightest. As I watch my kids fight their own personal battles during these years, it reminds me how grateful I am for parents that supported my accomplishments, pointed out my faults and loved me the same no matter what.

I pray that as my kids have up days and down days, good grades and bad, accomplishments and failures, I love them more and more through each one.

For the Love of...

2011-01-24T16:58:00.004-09:00

If I entitled this post "Rant and Rave," one might think that it was of a political nature due to the hostility in the political spectrum. However this "Rant" is of a more personal nature. Introspective almost. At the grand old age of 42 it should be expected that an individual might have reached some sort of pinnacle of distinction. Arrived. Succeeded. However I find myself quite where I was ten years ago. Some of the surroundings are different, maybe slightly improved; the children have grown, taller, if not also minutely more mature; and lest I neglect to say, I have become thinner albeit grayer.

But why is it after 42 years I still struggle with the most ridiculous issues. For starters, my mouth. Maybe I should have it removed. Not only would my dietary consumption be reduced-drastically-but no longer would I catch myself mid-sentence desperately trying to change course from the direction I have begun.

Secondly, my temper. It is connected to my mouth. I'm not sure which is the bigger of the problems, nor am I sure which is the instigator. My mouth leads to debate, thus leading to frustration (from all parties I am sure) and then anger joins the fray. But often anger arrises first, only to have my mouth jump on the bandwagon. It truly is a vicious cycle.

For now, I press on. What else can I do? If these were the only two struggles I had, life would be quite peachy, but they are only part of the picture. Life is a challenge. From the big things to the small.

Done ranting. Time to drink coffee, think happy thoughts, love the family and say nice things. See, there is improvement already!

A symbol??

2010-10-13T10:10:00.003-08:00

At the school of higher learning that my two eldest attend, the freshmen class participates in an advisory period each Wednesday. I personally believe it is one of the biggest wastes of time during the school day. Mind you, I think much of the day is a complete waste, but this seems to take the award in the waste category.

"Last week, we were asked to come up with a symbol that we felt represented who we are." When my daughter informed me that this was the topic of the advisory, I had to contain my enthusiasm. Doesn't every parent dream of the day when their child finally designs their own symbol?

I am curious which school administrator thought up this most creative method to dumb down the classroom one more notch. Was it in an effort to assure our kids are at the bottom of the intelligence pool, or was it maybe developed by a fan of the "Artist formally known as Prince?"

All in all, the high school experience provides a wide variety of learning. I am quite sure, most of what is learned will not provide them the skills to face the world I want for them. But then I'm not so sure the world I want, will be there for them.

Spring

2010-03-09T15:58:00.003-09:00

Caught in what seems to be an endless winter, I am still drawn to Spring Cleaning. Pulling things out of cupboards, rearranging, discarding, scrubbing, I bring in the ladder to reach the spots that no one can see, yet I feel such satisfaction as I look at the top of my cabinets and realize the I know they are clean. It is a compulsion to have a neat and tidy house.

I look back on the years of babies in the house and laugh at the unrealistic expectations I had. I would alphabetize their little cardboard books, in hopes that they would put them back as they had found them. Every toy had a place, and the kids were quite well trained in putting things back. I thought I had created perfect children, slightly OCD, yet in a more "normal" view. How could I have been so wrong. Not one of my children has the need to have clean around them.

They are all content with things where they leave them. For years I was frustrated and anguished over the lack of concern for a spotless house from my family. It affected me in ways I hated. I would panic when people would call and say they were dropping by. I would frantically run around the house in a state of panic. "What would they think?" "What would they see." It has been so freeing to be able to relax in my home. I have accepted my family for who they are. I cannot change their personalities. I cannot make them be me. I can nurture who they are, mold them to be the very best they can be and I can pray that God would guide their lives.

And pray they marry neat freaks!

Learning to fly

2010-02-25T13:59:00.003-09:00

The joys of mothering teenagers...oh who would have known when they were all cute and cuddly in their little footy pajamas, wrapped up in their blankets, that one day they would have opinions, attitudes and agendas?

Each day is a challenge, yet with every one, I sense the progress of bringing adolescents into the adult world. I'm not sure it will be a quick and easy journey, in fact I am quite positive that it will be a wild, bumpy ride, prayerfully ending in an exchange of authority. I am excited as the the kids gain more and more independence, yet of course I struggle with each step they take away from the protection of home.

I think back on my teenage years, and I can't begin to apologize to the authority figures that I argued with and at times defied. Not only my adoring parents, but teachers, aunts, uncles and friends. I realize now that as I fought against the boundaries that were surrounding me, I was challenged to decide where I would put the limits, once I was on my own.

I pray that as I hover over my children, and as they push and kick for freedom, that they will learn, as did I, that there is safety in boundaries and joy in authority.

Humbled

2010-02-22T17:03:00.007-09:00

The trials I have seem so trivial in the grand scheme of life. Humbled by the Holy Spirit, I write this post. Why do I feel the need to be recognized or appreciated for my tiny contributions?

When I get to thinking like this, the most amazing thing happens. I can almost hear the thwack on the back of my head and my body jerks as I am reprimanded by the LORD. "What on earth were you thinking?"

A little girl lies in a bed in a hospital, discovering only days earlier that cancer was her diagnosis. Doctors, who have spent years learning, perfecting and dedicating their lives to helping others, spent hours over her precious body, her life in their hands -a miracle. Tough times ahead are more than possible, they are guaranteed.

Olympic stars grace the television, the newsstand, the internet. They strive for a goal. They work tirelessly towards the chance to represent their country. We watch with enthusiasm as the athletes perform with precision, agility and speed. The medal awarded, the music plays, the crowd roars.

Two stories: Who are the heros?

As I think about my small offerings to this world I am brought to my knees. I realize that each thing I do is but a drop in an endless sea. Who will award the child with a gold medal for her courage, strength and endurance? Or the doctors who sacrifice daily for the health of others, will they stand on a podium as the crowds cheer? Will a song of tribute be played for the parents that devote each moment to the needs of their children? Each a hero, unknown to the world, but not to the Father who created them.

God sees. That's what matters. Please LORD forgive my selfish pride.

Well, it started out good

2010-02-15T13:04:00.002-09:00

Sunday was a beautiful non stressful day. Visited Chapel by the Sea again. Enjoyed the service. What I really like best is the fact that both Ron and I were relaxed getting there and leaving. A true blessing.

We had a fun evening with friends, then as they were leaving Shelby decided to try to fly. Well, maybe not exactly, I'm not sure she even knows what happened. But one second she was sitting on the top stair and the next she was laying at the bottom, crying, holding her arm.

It swelled up immediately. BROKEN! Goodness! Iced it, wrapped it, drugged her and sent her to bed. This morning we went and had it X-rayed. Sure enough it was a break, but a minor one. Couldn't cast it yet due to the swelling. The true bummer is, she is currently taking an art class, piano lessons, and playing volleyball. She is quite the trooper. Kept smiling!

But my heart is deeply hurting for friends' loved ones. Stacia, a six year old, has been diagnosed with a tumor the size of a lemon on the back of her brain. The doctors are almost 100 percent sure it is cancer. She will be in surgery tomorrow. God has had His hand in each part of the testing, diagnosing, and planning.

I am holding onto my kids a little tighter, thanking God for the blessings and praying that He gives me strength to face the trials.

Change

2010-02-10T16:36:00.003-09:00

Music is such a huge part of my life. I never realized just how important it was to me until that part of my life was greatly changed. Over a year ago I stepped down from the music ministry at Church for reasons that were significant to me. Each week as I sit in church my heart hurts that the beautiful piano sits unused and untouched. A keyboard has taken over. Not that I don't thoroughly love the keyboard, I own one myself, however, it is not the instrument that the piano is.

Somewhere along the line I have become outdated and old fashioned I guess. I visited a church in town this past week that still uses the piano and organ. It was like going back in time. I loved the sermon, the hymns, the harmonies, the choir, the baby in the back that played, the grandpa that turned 90, the relaxed atmosphere where someone could raise their hand and make an announcement.

As I visited the church with my family I wondered what my teenagers would think of the service. Rather certain that they would belittle the, less than trendy music, attire, and facility, but I was thrilled to find out that they liked it. Trevor's response was that it was obvious that the people really cared about each other and the Lord, because it certainly wasn't the music that brought them :)

As my kids get older, my priorities have been arranged and rearranged. Since we live so far from family, it is very important to me that my kids have adults that encourage them and hold them accountable for their growth and maturity. Will there be people who are excited when they graduate, go to college, get engaged, married and become parents?

As for my younger two, they never get the opportunities that the others had. No Christmas programs, no Easter songs. Maybe that shouldn't be so significant, but it is to me. I want my girls to know that even though they are young they are a vital member of the church body. Not a group that is pushed to the side.

Change is hard, it pushes us to dig deep and find out why we do what we do. Who we are, what we believe. I am not sure where God is leading our family, but I am excited to see where he takes us, or leaves us :)

Someday

2010-02-09T16:41:00.003-09:00

I will have a life. Right now it is all about the kids. Not that I mind, but it is nice to feel like I have some sort of identity every now and then. At least I have the reputation of being the cool mom. That has it's advantages.

Trevor - Basketball, basketball, and basketball

Lindsay - Babysitting, babysitting and choir

Shelby - Volleyball, art, piano

Jillian - Art and piano

Ron - Work, work and more work

Me - Just trying to keep us on schedule :)

D.C. Trip - Friday

2009-05-09T04:29:00.006-08:00

The kids showed up at 10:30 and were looking tired and worn out, but there was no time for showering, napping or kicking back.

After a quick trip to the food court, we were off to the Capitol, took some pictures and then went to the Senate Office building to sing for Mark Begich. He and his staffed were very welcoming. The kids sang great.

We then walked the length of the Mall and headed towards the Washington Monument. Only a few kids made the trek, the rest collapsed about halfway due to exhaustion!! Oh goodness, it was 76 degrees and they acted like they might die. I guess they are true Alaskans.

Annie and I were in need of a restroom, so we headed into the Smithsonian Institute and were welcomed by the "Pile of Loot" from "Night at the Museum." I can't remember this scene at all. But it was an interesting.

Some of the girls wanted to find the swimming pool at the University of Maryland last night so of course Annie and I went off with them. The hotel gave us a map. How hard could it be?? Apparently quite hard. We wandered all over. We finally found the pool, decided it was in the middle of nowhere and headed back to the hotel. Watched a baseball game. Got lost. Asked for directions. Got lost. Asked again for directions. Found our way. Some kids asked us for directions. We directed. (We were quick learners)

Once we finally got bak to the hotel it was about time to check on the kids and send them all off to bed. Long fun day.

Thursday in D.C.

2009-05-07T21:00:00.004-08:00

Annie and I are feeling like D.C. pros. The Metro, busses, shuttles, Express...we've got it all down. I'm not so impressed with the politics here, but they sure have figured out their public transportation. I guess that is one positive thing.

We went to Mt. Vernon today. It was a beautiful ride there. The old homes along the river were quite impressive. It is an interesting thing to stand wherethe first President stood. The grounds are gorgeous, very well kept.

We met a friend of Annie's for lunch. Then we were off to sightsee again. We really didn't have much time. The Smithsonian Museums all close at 5:30! But we did see our first D.C. Rally and a protest, chatted with the Secret Service, saw some important Afghan or Pakistani officer, and watched as many "important" people flooded a hotel amid hordes of m

ore Secret Service. It was all very entertaining. Oh, and we walked by the White House.

This is the most amazing escalator. It has to be more than five stories high. What on earth if you tripped. Yikes.

Went back to Georgetown for the evening. Wandered around, got a bite to eat and headed back, only to miss the train that would get us back to the airport in time for the shuttle to the hotel. We ended up taking a taxi from the airport - $23 dollars later, we were home from another educational day.

D.C. Trip - Wednesday

2009-05-06T20:34:00.010-08:00

Okay, I know it's been forever - but my life just hasn't been too news worthy :)

However, it is most interesting now. Here are some pics of my first full day in D.C. with Annie. The weather was fine most of the day, and then it got rainy. No worries though. We didn't melt.

The day started out funny. We got on the wrong train, but ended up going somewhere we had heard about. The architecture is amazing here. The brick sidewalks and old buildings, churches, cemeteries and history envelops you. I honestly could spend two weeks here and still not see it all.

Of course we had so start with coffee.

This old church was beautiful.

The sights are truly everywhere.

The Metro provided great entertainment. It is a great way to travel.

The Holocaust Museum didn't allow pictures. It was an experience I hope I never forget. I can't even begin to wrap my brain around the horror of it all.

The Museum of Natural History was another story. Pictures a plenty. The evolution garbage is everywhere. 300 trillion billion years ago dust particles "gently" collided into each other....blah blah blah. I have yet to understand why some so-called intelligent scientists find their theory easier to accept than "God did it."

The Hope Diamond. Wonder if they'd let be borrow it??

What to do tomorrow??

Dangers of the Nintendo Wii

2009-01-13T22:39:00.003-09:00

Who would have thought that the Wii could be such a dangerous toy. Trampolines, roller blades, bungee jumping - now one might expect an accident. But the Wii. A video game. A simple controller. Buyer beware! The Wii could be hazardous to your health, or your child's.

Lindsay was up next. I had just had my rear kicked on Jillian Michael's Workout. I was pooped. Lindsay's walking, stretching, walking, bending, and then back to walking. I'm chatting on the phone, when all of the sudden there is a scream. A wail. Someone is officially dying I'm sure. Lindsay said her foot slipped off the edge of the Wii Fitness Board. Being the good mom that I am, I tell her to walk it off. She whimpers. I'm thinking, come on babe, it isn't labor, walk! Dutifully, she walks. I'm watching her attempt to walk, and I ask to look at the ankle that she says she hurt. Duh!!! It isn't the ankle. I notice that there is an odd protrusion on the side of her foot. Broken? Maybe walking isn't such a good idea. Ice, that's what we need! Elevation! We decide to let her go to bed and check it in the morning.

Morning arrives...the foot doesn't look or feel any better. So off to the Doc in the Box. X-ray. Definitely broken. Crutches. Wrapped. Off to the orthopedist. The break is at an odd place, right next to a growth plate. The broken part is floating...possible pins. Oh, no! After the Doc looked at it, he assured Lindsay that it would heal just fine, BUT she was not allowed to put any weight on it for SIX weeks. That is an eternity to a 12 year old.

Lime green was the color of choice.

She is learning to walk with crutches. Her first break. This will go down in the Howe family history.

Blessings overflowing!

2009-01-11T15:49:00.004-09:00

Tomorrow, today will be yesterday, and I will have begun yet another year in the life of me. For some reason remembering the day of ones birth is an occasion many try to run from. I have embraced it. I am excited to see what happens in this 40th year of my journey. I am happy with where I am in life. I am thankful for what God has done, and am eager to follow His leading.

Yesterday a very special friend came to visit me. We found great pleasure in laughing at the oddest things, we gorged on Thai food, and shopped at some very off the wall places. After Trevor's first basketball game of the season (which they won) we were off to another "destination". There I was greeted by a fantastic group of ladies from church. Yet again, I was reminded how special friendships are. It is amazing how therapeutic laughter can be.

Unfortunately the only picture I have at the moment was taken from an iPhone. This is everyone but two.

The celebration continued on through today. Lunch with friends. Tulips and sympathy. Cards and more cards. Packages from a most special lady. Movie and dinner with Ron. Relaxing, enjoying, smiling, laughing. It was a weekend I will not soon forget.

Now this may sound a bit odd, but sometimes in a persons life, it is nice to be reminded that people care. This weekend was an abundance of just exactly that.

This Birthday thing is starting out very good!

2009-01-10T13:59:00.005-09:00

Tomorrow I will join the ranks of the very mature. It is an exclusive group. It takes many years before you can be included, 40 to be exact. I have worked hard, taken notes, and now my moment has finally come.

My dear sweet husband, has been taking notes as well.

Today a package arrived. Knowing that I would beg and plead, I was allowed to open it early. It was a beautiful camera bag. My new hobby is photography. I love taking pictures. Now that there is no film to wait to have developed, it is instant satisfaction. The bag is more than just a camera bag. It is art! And it is made by a company named Jill-E, how perfect is that!

I love it. I love my husband. I love my family. I love being 40!

Time does fly!

2009-01-07T12:38:00.007-09:00

As of yesterday, Jillian is eight. She is a joy. I have never know a child so full of life all the time. She is continually happy, giggly, and silly. Jilli was so excited about her birthday. She insisted on making her own cake. She counted down the days and then hours to this momentous occasion.

Eight years ago, I fell in love with Jillian and my love for her grows each day.

Christmas Blessing

2008-12-28T16:12:00.003-09:00

Something bizarre has happened to me. I'm not sure if it is the fact that I have become resolved to the fact that Alaska will be my home for many more years, or maybe I have actually begun to like it here, or maybe God has been gracious and has given me a peace about calling Alaska home.

Whatever the case may be, this Christmas season did not bring nearly the heartbreak as previous years. I am so thankful for my husband and my four wonderful kids. God has blessed us over and over. We have health, home, employment, friends, family and most of all the love of a Savior.

To all my friends and family: Thank you for your love and support through the years. The Howe family has been blessed by you.

As for the picture...it was a goofy pic from Christmas morning. I just couldn't resist. Pretty scary huh :)

Cookie Maddness

2008-12-28T15:49:00.006-09:00

Love my husband, but why is it that he always comes up with these fantastic ideas that involve tons of work for me. I'm quite sure I'd never do that to him. Just because the window washing turned into new windows and new siding, doesn't give him the right to force me into the cookie making business, does it?

So Ron wanted to give the people in his department cookies for Christmas. 14 plates of cookies and bars later, I was still smiling. The girls had a fabulous time baking. I was basically the supervisor!

And the bonus - I got my Christmas present early. A new Kitchen Aid mixer. My previous one had a bad encounter with a chef in training.

2008-12-12T23:38:00.003-09:00

Ron really wanted everyone to know that he had a wonderful day in Juneau. Of course he refuses to write anything, so therefore I could make up anything I want about his jaunt to the Capitol city. But I won't bore you with the details of his day playing with stereo equipment, instead, how about a picture of the mountains.

Little cooks make good bread

2008-12-12T22:02:00.004-09:00

The girls hard work paid off. No food processor, that's cheating. Seven beautiful loaves of zucchini bread.

We had to keep one for ourselves.

Getting in the Christmas spirit

2008-12-12T16:13:00.005-09:00

So, I think I'm starting the holidays. I decorated, I've purchased a few things, the baking is beginning, and the music plays continually. My girls, who are extremely domestic, are making zucchini bread for the "Women's Gala." I am not really the "gala" type of gal, but I am trying to embrace the whole idea.

Being so far removed from my family is a challenge, especially at Christmas time. I long to bake with my mother, go shopping with Julie, and laugh at my dad who is constantly pretending to be the Grinch, which we all know he isn't. Then of course there is the eating! But that is a no-brainer. I love home baked pies and candy. For the holidays, nothing, and I mean NOTHING should come from a box or a bag! From scratch is the only way. But then, is there ever a time that something from a box can possibly taste better than homemade?

Christmas Tradition

2008-12-09T17:55:00.000-09:00

I don't know when it happened but somewhere through the years I have become obsessive about the Christmas tree. For those of you that know me, you might be laughing. But of all my obsessive tendencies, the tree was never one of them. After receiving harassment from some dear friends, I actually got into it. Well, maybe I was still compulsive about the placement of each decoration on the tree, but it was a start.

A few years ago, I decided that it would be best to have a "kids" tree and "my" tree. Trevor helps put the tree up, and then disappears, and then Lindsay, Shelby and Jillian put on the lights and every decoration they can find. It has all the ornaments that they have made over the years, and those that we have been given and then a few that have been purchased. It is always beautiful!

So if we have a tradition in this family, it is multiple trees. Some for the compulsive, and then those for the free spirited.

I try but keep failing

2008-12-07T21:54:00.000-09:00

Okay, so I've tried the blog thing. I have all these great thoughts, and I think, "Oh, I should write this down," but then a child needs help with homework, the phone rings, the dryer is done, it's time to take someone to practice, Ron walks in the door or I just sit on my butt and don't do it, reasoning that I'll remember and write it later. As you can see I have a terrible memory.

But I'm not a quitter, I'll keep thinking great thoughts, and maybe someday, I'll be sitting near the computer when it happens and the thought will make it to the web. Then you will all be so impressed.

Dentist glee

2008-11-03T22:54:00.004-09:00

I'm not really sure why I am trying this blogging thing, but it seems to work for others, so here goes.

I can be a rambler at times, though I find that sometimes writing my life, makes it seem much more interesting. I am not sure how to make a trip to the dentist an enthralling read, especially since it wasn't even I who was sitting in the chair. Jilli was the champ today. She is so delightful - not a word I use often, but it fits Jillian. She was excited to go to the dentist. Thrilled at the thought of having a filling. She was a little concerned about why the dentist always pinches her mouth. I laughed, and being the realist that I am, I had to tell her that he was giving her a shot. She was quite surprised, she had no idea that any needle was ever used, but very proud that she was so "tough." After freezing for what seemed like an eternity in the waiting room, we headed home to continue school.